In Preparing For Stoma Surgery Part 1, I talked about the practical stuff, like surgery prep and what to pack. This blog focuses on mental preparation; answering all those questions you might have. I hope it will help settle some of the concerns and worries that are common for people who are due for ostomy surgery.

It’s totally normal to be apprehensive, overwhelmed, and even scared about what’s to come. It’s also totally normal to not want it to happen. It’s a tough thing to go through. I know from personal experience how daunting the whole thing is. It’s normal to feel a huge range of emotions. Even with my last stoma, which I was actually really ready for, I still experienced lots of ups and downs whilst waiting for the surgery date to arrive. Some days, I was totally up; excited and ready, and just looking forward to being able to get my life back and experience things again. Other days, I was terrified at the prospect of having a bag for life and I’d feel like crying my eyes out. There is NOTHING that you can feel that isn’t normal! I wrote about how I felt when I found out that I needed a stoma in a previous blog.

I’ve compiled a list of resources.

There’s a fun blog I’d like to share with you first. I was shocked when I found out that we aren’t all emptying our ostomy bags in the same way. I even did a poll about it! See Ostomy bags! How are you emptying yours?

What bag suits you best is a very individual thing, so once your stoma site is all healed, it’s worth ordering some samples from different manufacturers to see which one makes you feel the most comfortable and secure. Let your stoma nurse know what you’re trying or ask them to order the samples for you.

People often wonder what they will be able to wear when they have an ostomy bag to consider. I wrote, What can I wear with an ostomy bag?, to share my experiences, and I’ve also included links to multiple specialist underwear and clothing manufacturers.

One of the major anxieties ostomates can experience is emptying in public bathrooms. Here, I share my top tips for covering odour and noise (the Velcro kind).

Bathing and showering with a stoma is also a very common initial query for new ostomates.

Mental Health

Looking after your mental health is just as important as looking after your physical health after surgery. Many elements could be involved in mental health decline, so I’ve tried to share some resources for a few of those.

It’s normal to struggle with being uncomfortable in your own body. I wrote about grieving for mine as part of Fittleworth’s “I’m still me” project, which is also worth a look! The bag and my scars all made it difficult for me to accept my new body, BUT, I did get there in the end. Plus, I wrote about the fact that I don’t always like my stoma, and that’s OK!

I also wrote about my experiences of isolation and relationship struggles; Sustaining friendships has been more difficult due to chronic illness and Feeling lonely is more normal than you think.

Hopefully, you can learn a little from my experience. I actually got to a point where I regretted not having my permanent stoma sooner, which I never imagined would be the case!

Food and drink

People often wonder what they will be able to eat following surgery. Usually, the first 6 weeks after surgery will be a bland diet to give the intestine time to heal. After that, it’s time to start introducing additional foods – with the go-ahead from your surgeon or stoma nurse. There is no one-size-fits-all guide to what people with a stoma can eat. It’s a very personal thing. I always try a food three times, a good few weeks apart if I don’t seem to tolerate it well initially. I wrote about how different foods affect my ostomy output, which might also be interesting to take a look at!

Dehydration can be a crippling problem if we don’t take extra care to stay hydrated! You might find that plain water just doesn’t cut it anymore. You might just be able to introduce more salt into your diet, or you might need to drink an oral rehydration solution to level your electrolytes. Chat to your healthcare team if you’re concerned!

Eating out with an ostomy is one of those firsts that might be a source of concern.

Exercise

I previously wrote about my experience of pre and post-stoma surgery fitness, and how and why I got back into exercise after stoma surgery. Parastomal hernia prevention is also worth a look while we’re on the subject!

Fittleworth has a great guide which was created with Fittleworth’s clinical nursing team and qualified physiotherapists. The Simple Steps guide has been devised to help you look after your physical health before and after surgery and is designed to cater to all fitness levels. Check it out now for advice on things you can do pre-surgery to prepare your body.

Many people assume that swimming is off-limits when you have a stoma too, but that’s not the case!

Again, hydration needs to be considered if you’re sweating during exercise!

Relationships

Romantic and sexual relationships can feel incredibly daunting, whether you already have a partner, or you’re worried about dating. If you’re worried, take a look at Sex after stoma surgery.

I shared some blogs in the mental health section that focus on friendships, but for ease, I will pop those in again here:

Sustaining friendships has been more difficult due to chronic illness

Feeling lonely is more normal than you think.

Holidays

Travel can be a big source of anxiety for ostomates. Hopefully, these tips and considerations will help you feel a little more confident on your journey, and when you’re there!

Hot weather, whether you’re at home or abroad, might cause some issues with your ostomy bag. The community shared some tips with me for dealing with some of those! AGAIN, Hydration levels must be considered!

Experiences

I’ve also written a few blogs about different things I have done since having my stoma, such as eating out, going to theme parks, and enjoying the festive season with a stoma.

Support

You might also feel like you need additional support from people who have lived it. If that’s the case, pop on over to the IBDSuperHeroes private Facebook group.