Let’s talk trauma! I feel like trauma is much less taboo these days. We’re getting better at recognising that trauma is a relative and very personal thing. It used to be that if you hadn’t gone to war or something, it wouldn’t be acknowledged that you could really even understand what it means to experience trauma. In reality, most of us have experienced trauma at least once in our lives. Most of us have suffered in some way.

Before we can begin healing trauma, we need to understand what it even means.

What trauma is

Trauma is experienced when something overwhelms us so much, that we have to activate some sort of protective response mechanism. If we feel we are in danger, or that something threatens our mortality, our fundamental instinct to survive kicks in. You’ve probably heard of fight, flight or freeze. It can actually be more complicated than that; learn more about fight, flight, freeze, fawn and flop at PTSD UK. This is usually short-lived, but when it’s not, trauma happens.

The difference between experiencing trauma and not can be as simple as receiving comfort during the time of the event, so we feel we have safety. For example, a car backfiring could be a traumatic experience for a child if someone wasn’t there to hold them and say: “It’s OK, it was just car backfiring and you’re perfectly safe.”

You don’t have to have experienced physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, war, terrorism etc. Many other things such as childhood neglect, abandonment, poverty, discrimination, oppression, rejection, the loss of a loved one, medical negligence, and plenty more, can all result in trauma.

How we experience trauma

Trauma, of course, lives on in our minds. We know that because it leads to things like avoidance. Whether that’s avoiding thinking about it or avoiding places or people that might remind us of it. Trauma can lead to all sorts of psychological and emotional symptoms such as dissociation, depression, emotional repression, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, addiction, flashbacks, being startled easily and so on.

Trauma also lives on in our body, because we don’t know how to release it. It might manifest physically as nausea, headaches, and chronic pain conditions.

Common physical disorders and symptoms include somatic complaints; sleep disturbances; gastrointestinal, cardiovascular, neurological, musculoskeletal, respiratory, and dermatological disorders; urological problems; and substance use disorders.

National Library of Medicine ¹

These symptoms are often coping mechanisms that we develop in reaction to a traumatic experience.

When trauma is not dealt with and processed, it can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Recommended reading

I regularly see The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk as recommended reading. I haven’t yet read it, but I have downloaded it as a PDF and added it to my Kindle. You can access it for free here – The Body Keeps the Score.

Understanding the Impact of Trauma is a great read if you want to deep dive into the biological, emotional, physical, cognitive, behavioural, social, and developmental impact of trauma.

Healing trauma

My personal experience of trauma has led to the creation of this article. Some people might once have said that my trauma is not valid. It is never OK to say that to someone.

I used to think that accepting I’d experienced trauma made me weak. Made me a victim somehow. Thank you society for that pearl of wisdom!

I was brought up in a stoic, “suck it up and get on with it” manner. That mindset has seen me through many years of toxic relationships and health battles. However, stoicism can only get me so far. In fact, a therapist told me that.

I live with anxiety, I’ve lived through depression, and now I live with chronic pain. It is my hope that I can heal from old wounds and grow into a better, more balanced person, preferably with less pain.

So, I’m going on a personal journey to heal my trauma, and I plan to take you with me. Maybe we’ll learn some interesting things together. Maybe I’ll try some things that can potentially help you. Who knows!

If you’re struggling and don’t know where to start, join the club. Just know that I see you. You are not alone. Your feelings are valid.

If you’re feeling up to it, come with me.