I called the Gynae department on August 16^th 2021 when I hadn’t heard anything. They said the GP had not provided enough information; therefore the referral had been sent back to the GP for them to action. I asked if I could give them the info they needed, as the GP seemed to have little understanding of how my previous medical history might actually affect my fertility. They said no, it had to be a GP thing. At this point, I was on the verge of tears.

A familiar problem

I called the GP surgery and the receptionist said they hadn’t had the request for more info yet. She took notes to give to the person who does the referrals to sort. When I put the phone down, the tears came. Pure frustration at this being my life; constantly chasing and prompting. Attempting to take control of my healthcare s**t, and constantly feeling let down and disappointed. Angry even. I felt like this was just another “life on pause” thing that had become so familiar to me.

One week later, on August 23^rd, I called to book some blood tests that had been requested by my Gastro, so I asked at the same time if there was any update on the Gynaecology stuff. The receptionist said she still couldn’t see anything, so she would check and call me back. The GP called me back later that day. I was frustrated – why did she need me to prompt her, AGAIN? Why did she ignore last week’s note? Why can she not understand how emotional these kinds of referrals are?!!

A familiar frustration

Anyway, it turns out a lot is missing. I need blood tests between days 2-5 of my cycle, and another on day 21. I also need swabs and a semen sample. Obviously not my own semen… Only when all of these things have been done can the referral be processed. WHY does a GP not know what information she needs to provide for something like a Gynae fertility referral?! I was so angry. I put the phone down and ended up crying again. I think it was mainly anger this time. Then, I realised that I had zero idea how to go about this semen sample. Am I supposed to send him to sort it himself, and then it’s someone else’s job to link the two of us together? I was too f***ed off to call back, so I thought I would do it in a few days when I was calling to try and get the tests sorted.

There was a point when I thought to myself, why am I even doing this if I already know that if we can’t conceive, I don’t want to do IVF anyway? Eventually, I remembered that I needed answers. I needed to know because it had been hanging over me for so long. But I also knew that the stress of it was already taking its toll.

In my mind, we are 9 weeks behind where we should be at this point. She had said on June 21^st that she would do the referral, and here we were in August with tests still to be run.

The next day an admin assistant from the doctor’s surgery called me! I was thrilled and surprised that somebody seemed to be on it in their job! We got two lots of blood tests booked in for me, and the swabs. I also asked about the semen analysis. She seemed to think that we dropped it off there, so I then questioned whether they tested it there because that didn’t seem to make any sense to me. She said she would check and call back, which she did. She said that she would get the GP dealing with it to sort the forms and sample pot for us to pick up when she was in again on Friday. She also said she would send me the information leaflet that they have about dropping it off, which is in fact at the hospital. Does anybody actually know what they’re doing? 🤯

The leaflet arrived on Thursday and continued with the theme of confusing me. It contradicted itself about appointment times in the leaflet, so I called the hospital department on Friday to get to the bottom of what we’re supposed to do. The leaflet had listed the appointment days AND times wrong. So, I’m glad I checked!

Nope. It’s beginning to seem like no one does know what they’re doing…

I had my final blood tests done on September 16^th. I kept checking the online system, but no results turned up. We went on holiday, so I chased them on the way home, which was October 1^st. They HAD come back, but they hadn’t been logged in the same place they usually are, hence me not being able to see them. Swabs confirmed everything is normal; no STDs etc. Blood tests confirmed my hormones were all present and correct. I asked the receptionist to add a note to the system to request that the GP do the re-referral now, rather than us having to wait until December when the semen analysis is complete. I cross my fingers.

The referral was finally sent

They did it! I am genuinely surprised, but pleased! On October 6^th, the referral went off again. I received the same letter I’d had when the referral initially went which said to contact them two weeks later if I’d not heard anything.

A little about the initial fertility bloods and swabs

Blood sample one is taken between days 2 and 5 of the menstrual cycle. This looks at hormones; follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) and luteinising hormone (LH). FSH stimulates the growth of the egg-containing follicles in the ovaries and the secretion of oestrogen. LH stimulates ovulation and secretion of progesterone in the second part of the cycle.

Blood sample two is taken on day 21 (assuming you have a regular cycle). This looks at progesterone. The ovary secretes progesterone in the second half of the cycle and reaches its highest level 7 days before a period is due.

The swabs look at several things:

• Vaginal flora – microbiota or microbiome, which are the microorganisms that colonize the vagina.
• Yeasts/Candida species.
• Clue Cells – to detect bacterial vaginosis.
• STIs: Trichomonas vaginalis, Chlamydia trachomatis, Neisseria gonorrhoeae.

And now, we wait.