You know the type:

• Turn up unannounced. 
• Ruin your plans (even if your plans did only involve laying around in your PJs all day and drifting in and out of consciousness). 
• Expect you to cater to their needs.
• Outstay their welcome. 
• Leave traces of themselves for you to clear up.

Well, that pretty much sums up inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) to me. 

How IBD is like an unwanted house guest

In my case, his arrival was completely UNANNOUNCED. He came storming in without even a hint of a warning, with his stinking attitude and the need to screw me over. RUINING MY PLANS of trying to remain attractive for as long as possible in my very new relationship! Of course, he has also taken away many nights and days out, festivals and work events too! 

Life suddenly has to change; his dietary requirements and medication/treatment routines need CATERING FOR!

When I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, I was also told that it was easily manageable with medication. That most people continue to lead a normal and happy life with maybe a few changes to diet etc. I was expecting to be miraculously better real soon and back to normal in no time at all. Fat chance! Consider his welcome well and truly OUTSTAYED! No getting rid of him. In fact, the only way to be rid of him was to cut him out entirely. 

Does that mean you can return back to normal? Does it heck! It means you wear a bag on your abdomen that you poop into for a year whilst you decide how important having children is. It means you need more surgery and your intestine is chopped up and put back together in a way it was never intended to work. It means even when you’re lucky enough to poo through your arse again that it happens at least 8 times a day! You have to plan trips around toilet stops. You can still get IBD in your newly formed internal pouch. Even if you don’t you can still get the symptoms of a flare in the rest of your body. Bad joints, skin problems, fatigue, other related autoimmune issues, and the list goes on.

The only difference is that with unwanted house guests, you can evict them when it gets too much. You don’t have the option to throw IBD out and lock the door.

With IBD, TRACES OF HIM REMAIN part of your life and your body for as long as you live…

Dealing with your constant companion

So what do you do about it? Do you shout and scream, and get angry with him every day? Do you ignore him and pretend he doesn’t exist? Do you cry yourself to sleep every night, wishing he would go away?

Maybe you do, for a while… It won’t help, but it is part of the larger journey. Eventually, you learn to co-exist. Maybe not harmoniously because he is still a right royal pain in the ass, but you are together forever and acceptance is a massive step towards understanding and coping. 

My suggestion is to get to know him. Figure out what he likes and what he doesn’t. Try not to anger him. You must remain amicable. Try not to get too stressed out with him, because then he will too and you’ll be the one paying for it.

Take him by the hand and walk off into the sunset with the understanding that this is your life now. Whilst it might not be the happily ever after you were hoping for, it’s the only ever after you’ve got.